Aside from the fact that the groom is an integral part of the wedding, let’s take a look at their responsibilities of the groom in planning and preparing the big day.
Traditionally, the groom really didn’t have a lot of involvement as the bride’s family tended to organise, and pay for, the wedding. Now, in more modern times, the couple tend to share the cost and the planning with the groom having much more say in location, outfits, colour schemes etc.
When it comes to traditional roles, we thought we would share some helpful insights into the responsibilities of the groom.
Financial Responsibilities of the Groom
A wedding is expensive business and while the bride’s family would traditionally pay for a large part of the celebrations, here is what the groom is expected to pay for:
• Wedding rings
• Hire of groom/groomsmen suits
• Church/registry office expenses
• Transport – cars for bride and bridesmaid
• Honeymoon
• First night hotel
• Bride’s bouquet
• Bridesmaids’ flowers
• Buttonholes for the groom and groomsmen
• Thank you gifts for best man, ushers and bridesmaids
Choosing the Groomsmen
It is the grooms duty to choose his best man and any ushers. There should be no pressure or outside influences from any other parties and the groom should choose who he feels is the right person/people for the task. We once saw a wedding where the groom had four best mates and he couldn’t choose between them so he had them all.
All we would say is make sure they are reliable and aren’t likely to let you down on this most important occasion, especially on the big day itself. The best man is also responsible for the rings so you want someone you can trust.
Talking of Rings
While the bride may want to choose the ring she likes, it is the groom’s responsibility to pay for them and to decide if he will wear one himself.
The Guest List
Given that the wedding is not all about the bride (well not entirely), you need to make sure you celebrate this special day with your nearest and dearest. You will need to write a list of all those friends and family that you want to invite. You will have a good idea of which friends you want there but it might be a good idea to consult with other members of the family when it comes to who to invite from the more extended circle.
While not on the list of responsibilities of the groom, it’s wise to think ahead to the seating plan – who doesn’t get on, are their divorced parents, any family feuds to consider? Write a comprehensive list with notes for the bride to work into the guest list and seating plan.
Deciding on Outfits
Our speciality! Yes, we are here to help with that. Just book an appointment for the groom, best man, ushers and father of the bride and we will measure you all up for your wedding outfits which you can choose from our extensive selection.
Top tip – it would be really useful if you were sure of the colour scheme that the bride has chosen so that we can co-ordinate your suits with the bridesmaid dresses, flowers etc.
Write a Speech
This is not an optional extra! It is compulsory for the groom to make a speech. If you really dislike speaking in public, you can keep it short and just thank everyone including the best man, the bridesmaids and the parents of both parties. You could even opt for a joint bride and groom speech if it makes you feel better.
If you are confident enough to make a speech, write it beforehand so you don’t forget anything and don’t wing it. Have some notes to refer to as prompts if it makes you feel better and practise the speech on your best man, your mum, your sister or even the dog.
Don’t worry though – you don’t have as much pressure as your best man in this instance. You may just want to make sure that the best man reads the room right before he makes any inappropriate gags.
Mingling and Thanking People
Once the more formal parts of the wedding are done, it is a good idea to mingle with your guests and thank them for attending after all, they have all made the effort to be there to celebrate your big day. Thank everyone in your speech for coming but try to speak to your guests when you can find a few minutes here and there.
Organising the Honeymoon
While one of the responsibilities of the groom is to pay for the honeymoon and book it all, it’s a good idea to consult with the bride on the destination. Perhaps you both have a shared ambition to go somewhere specific together that you have already discussed. In some cases the groom will even keep the destination secret from the bride but only do this if you are confident that she is going to love it.
Enjoy It
Finally don’t forget to take time to enjoy the big day, take it all in and celebrate this special day. It will all be over so quickly, you will want to capture it all.
